Multiracial Children: Teaching Kids they can be Many
I was not going to write about Allena Tapia’s commentary in The Huffington Post earlier this month,
but it kept coming back to haunt me. The title of her piece was “Multiracial
Children: Teaching My Kid to Check the Latino Box on Applications.” She happily
explained that “I’ve told my children from day one to always self-identify as
Latino or Hispanic on any official forms.” That was followed by this: “I tell
my children to always choose Hispanic or Latino based on the positives they
stand to gain from doing so. Yup, I said it.” She admitted to seeing more of “the
multiracial,” but said it’s not always an option and then she asked if her
children were genetically 50/50, would the tiebreaker be the cultural
influence?
First
of all, Ms. Tapia is putting race and ethnicity in the same category.
She spoke later in the piece about the Census and the fact that in 2010, they
sent in the completed census form back with two Latino children, their Latino
father, and her as “the lone Caucasian in the bunch.” Had she actually read the
instructions, she would have known that she could
have checked that her children were Latino and White.
Hispanic
is an ethnicity and white is a race. Tapia stated the following aha moment
at the end of her commentary:
“My husband loves
being Latino. My children think of themselves as Mexican-
American. They
love to talk about their culture and identity. They’re proud…They
are truly
Latino, 100%. Through and through.”
By implication her children are not proud to be anything
like their mother, who is white. That’s fine, it’s their identity, but I have
some problems with the way it’s being presented. First, why shouldn’t they be
as many races and ethnicities as they truly are? Were they even told about this
option? Is it somehow bad to be any percent white? I think not. If they were in
need of a bone marrow donor, they would have to look to the group that is
Hispanic or Latino and white. It’s an important fact of their genetic code.
Another thing that bothered me about Tapia’s commentary was
her blatantly broadcasting to the readership of The Huffington Post that she advised her children to choose Latino
as a way to get the goodies, and I’ll say it for her, prosper from affirmative
action. Should kids be told by their parents to self-identify as one race or
ethnicity to play the system?
To pigeonhole any young child into any one thing is
dangerous if it’s not the truth. My son wanted to embrace his entire heritage
when he was young, so we changed the way race was reported on his school forms.
We took action rather than be made to choose. Then, when he was in college, he
called me one day and told me he had been invited into a “Black fraternity,”
but he would have to say he was black to join. I advised him to first see what
his university had him classified as, even though he had checked both black and
white on his application form, not to get the goodies, but to be honestly what
he felt.
He went to the school and found that someone had checked off
“White” for his race on his official records. He called me back and asked what
he should do. I told him that if they were not going to let him choose more
than one race, he could choose
whatever he wanted for whatever
reason. It was his choice as an adult,
not anyone else’s and if they would not allow him to choose to be multiracial,
he could do whatever he wanted. He could be black one day and white the next
and screw the system that wouldn’t allow him to be who he truly felt he was. He
called me back a little while later and said, “Mom, I’m black now!” and we both
laughed. We knew the system, we knew the game, we chose to play it then, but he
was an adult who knew he was 50% Black and 50% White.
So, Ms. Tapia, if you teach your multiracial kids to check
any one box on any form, be sure you also let them know that it’s OK to be
proud to be multiracial.
Well said! I have two biracial children; one identifies more with being black, the other is more "racial neutral." In my house, they are simply my children, empowered and trusted to be who they truly are.
ReplyDeleteSusan, you gave some solid, valid, and thought-provoking points in your commentary (above). I know there are those who think, erroneously, that there is only one race, the human race. When it comes to a person's life their racial makeup is critical. Krystle Delgado Felton needs a bone marrow transplant. That bone marrow MUST match her particular blood-type. Krystle is Mexican and Filippino. If a close enough match isn't found Krystle will die.
ReplyDeletePut yourself in her place. Let's say you are Black and you need a bone marrow transplant or you will die. Many of your relatives and friends have been tested for a match and none has been found.
You accidentally find out that your father (deceased) was half Black and half Native American. Your mother didn't want you to know about your Native American heritage; she was ashamed of it, so she kept it from you. That lie of omission nearly cost you your life!
Ms. Tapia, I hope you are reading this comment. If you never thought of this before please think of it now. YOUR lie of omission might one day cost your child's or children's life(lives). God forbid either of them ever needs a bone marrow transplant. If they never realize they are Mexican AND White there will not be a match.
Susan Graham is someone I admire for her courage, her steadfastness, her compassion, her dedication, and her genuine love for all multiracial people of every age. I agree with her wholeheartedly when she wrote these words:
"...be sure you also let them know that it's OK to be proud to be multiracial."
so many people make that mistake.
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